i skipstumbletripped through my break so far. this morning consisted of a fuck-it moment. if i screw it up royally, nothing changes on paper. if i nail it, sky's the limit.
the score's not out yet, but i think i nailed it. i won't really know for at least another week.
this restlessness hasn't released yet.
Our ties to oneanother are fragile, gossamer at best, but flexible. Everything interesting happens in the stretch. My parent's family has split again. I'm now the oldest of only half so many. It's been a long while coming, really, but the timing is poor. Then again, I suspect everyone will have a relaxing holiday this year.
Speaking of holidays, there are only 11 minutes left in my working year, (not that I'm counting...). I've taken off for the next two weeks. On one hand, it's exciting that I'll have so much time to focus on my books and photo projects, contact the ACPA, and go jogging again. On the other, I am often lazy. So there's a possibility that I'll spend hours scratching behind Baxter's ears while catching up on every crime-drama series in syndication. Reality will probably fall somewhere between the two.
Cheers.
-getaway plans
Recently some collegues' work was featured in a gallery show. The gallery was fantastic, lots of character. One wall resmbled the curve of a half-pike. But the floor and wall were both white so it fooled my eye as I walked past. Every few steps, I felt I was about to trip. And there was an old, still in-use exposed freight elevator near the stairs. Just a cool space. Their work was, as always, amazing and sold neatly. The whole shindig, (yeah, it was definitely a shindig, swank but not stuffy), was just fantastic. The artists certainly enjoyed the spotlight, (seriously, they deserve it).
Hello up and down. On one hand, business is picking up and I'm booked out a month for shoots. One in particular looks like it could be a steady gig for a huge organization. This is unbelievably fantastic. On the other hand, my personal life is looking a little tattered. It's nothing too traumatic, really. And it will mend mostly on its own. It was just a little unexpected, (but if it were expected, I don't suppose I'd have let it happen in the first place).
Meh. I guess it's just proof that the universe strives for balance.
Recently, I spent a few hours around twilight sitting in my backyard, painting and sketching out some ideas. It was nice, great actually. I'd been trying to find the time to catch up for a while now. And I think it's some of my best work to date. Unfortunately, the mosquitos found me. I look like I have the measles! The bites are everywhere. It gives me ideas for a halloween costume...
my brother is in trouble again. and with it, with that phone call, comes this horrible feeling of i-can't-help-you and i-can't-fix-this and, the worst, even-if-i-could-i'm-not-sure-i-want-to.
the last one's the most debilitating. as the oldest, i'm supposed to look out for him or, at least, make mouths at the intention. but there is only so much and so far i can go.
so, yeah, i can't help you now. you're too far off course to find without losing myself along the way. and as much as it kills me to say it, you're a lost cause.
i don't think he'll ever understand how much everyone else has given up for him.
It's been a hell of a week. I sprained my ankle last Sat and exactly none of my plans had involved sitting still with my foot proped up. Gosh. Exhilerating. But it's mostly well enough now to be up and doing again. Koi's coming down tomorrow. There's a festival in the park, so I think we'll bum around there for a while.
Next weekend I'm getting out of town, heading out to the west coast. I'm so fucking stoked. Still wish I could take the train out there though. The airport just gets less appealing each day.
Anyway, I'll be home for 3 days then back out again for camping and a shoot in the mountains.
Unfortunately, I completely blanked when I scheduled this month. I'll be out of town for the ENTIRE Atlantis Music Conference, (http://www.atlantismusic.com/). Damn.
Then again, it's the west coast. I think I can find ways to distract myself.
Distractability is at an all-time high and climbing with no foreseeable signs of a slow-down. Market indicators point to rising forgetfulness and decreased overall reliability pushing the trend forward at least into next week. Last Sunday's report on the instability of the Extended Family markets, although surprisingly bleak, was largely expected and it's impact was minor on most fronts. It did, however, fuel a rally from the small Let's-Move-to-New-York-Now fringe group. The groups fervor was assuaged quickly by a reaction launched through Logic and Reality execs. The fringe group did, however, bring attention to the relatively ignored increase in both music and literature consumption. Generally considered positive market factors, their increase in conjunction with the rising distractability and instability of related markets has some investors puzzled. Similar situations in the past have indicated sharp turn-downs that have sent investors scrambling to cut their losses. But the hopeful index has performed surprisingly well recently, up several points from last month. Combined with the unexpectedly positive Overall Outlook report, investors seem to be holding on. The bureau of work is reporting increased output on all fronts. But their report released Monday indicates they feel this is a temporary issue and output should stabilize again shortly. Experts continue to report that things are "pretty good" adding, after a moment, an emphatic, "honestly they are". They point to the recent New Stuff acquisitions to support their claim.
Investors seem to agree, "Even with the recent statistics, it's still acting like a PeachyKeen market" reported a specialist from PlanningTheWeek Inc. "Things could change quickly though", our source conceded, "if caffeine consumption doesn't increase dramatically over the next 15 minutes". An outside source reports that fresh caffeine sources have just been imported. Crisis averted.
In an unrelated issue, the sleep department has reported a sharp increase in wonky dreams, including two reports of lucid dreams in as many months. The department is unsure of the cause but "hope the trend continues".
Finally, sources indicate that the FirstPhotoGig project has finally completed. Reports of the final success of the project aren't expected until Thursday, but early indicators seem extremely positive.
Wandering around the exterior of an abandoned building in Kirkwood, I found this little gem. This...can not be a coincidence. Someone put effort into this endevour! Someone thought this would be a good idea and a productive pursuit. Someone really should consider less meth next time.
Also, there's a confusingly useless bathroom somewhere in Atlanta. Beware!
Anyway, I got a good laugh from it.
Summers were once bike rides together into the woods, along the trail up to the creek. Then park, jump to the opposit bank, and spend the rest of the afternoon playing tag and GI Joe under the cool canopy. We'd come home for dinner with dirty hands and scraped knees and scruffy sneakers.
More than a decade's passed since the last Cops'n'Robbers summer. Those woods were bulldozed to make way for an expensive neighborhood and the creek's been diverted at the source. He's replaced his worn sneakers with equally worn boots and all the other trappings of reluctant adulthood. Everything's changed, but it's not so different, really. He's still my kid brother.
Today was his first appearance in court. From here on in, things will pick up speed, kinetic energy and an overworked judicial system will drive it forward. He's my kid brother, but all we can do is try to hold off the impending panic.
Something good- I did my first photo shoot recently.
Something better- I was just asked to do another (for a different group!).
So now, all told, I have 3 shoots in the works, (2 with non profits and one with a local band).
Alright, yes, I'm shooting all of these basically for free. But it's somthing! It's baby steps. Everyone has to start somewhere and I'm really liking the view from here so far.
I must have made this playlist without actually looking at the tracks. There's no continuity but I like it. Half of it seems to be in French. Je l'aime.
The tracks in the photo criscross my Atlanta. We were a railroad town once, (and currently), built solely for trains and transport. Our first name was Terminus, the point where tracks converged; ended. The old tracks are still in use, a kind of moving embroidery lacing the map. The ubiquitous rumble-clack of moving boxcars is just the sound of my city breathing, steady, strong. Through war and social upheaval, economic hardship and incredible loss, our ground's become accustomed to the constant sound. Train whistles lull me to sleep each night, remind me that this city is strong still after all these years and will remain so. And something of that has become important recently. I have lived in and around this town nearly all of my life but only recently has it become a part of me.
Anyway, I've discovered a few new things recently. This is fun so follow me on this one.
1) Chocolate Soy Milk. Don't think about it for too long. The whole creamy-fake-milk-from-a-plant thing is invariably disturbing. However, the tastes-just-fucking-like-melted-chocolate-icecream thing blows my misgivings right out of the water. It's delicious!
2) The Office. Apparently there's a British version out there as well, but I can only speak for the American one, IT"S FREAKING HYSTERICAL. Jaime, Meredith, and I spent a few hours watching back-to-back episodes on dvd. I eventually had to sit on the floor because I kept laughing so hard I'd crack my head against the wall behind the couch.
3) Quorn. Laila introduced me to this little gem when I visited her a gazillion years ago, ( oh my god it's been too long!!). But there's not much of it available here State-side. Plus, I wasn't a vegetarian at the time, so I mostly forgot about it. Then last week I found a bit in the frozen section. Damn! It tastes exactly the way I remember chicken tasting! I actually re-checked the box to make sure I didn't accidentally pick up organic real-chicken by accident.
4) Popums. I think that's what they're called. Anyway, they're these big square stickers of paint. But they don't mark the walls, they peel right off cleanly, and they're adjustable. God, they sound tacky don't they! Trust me, they aren't. My bathroom is now a lovely combination of red, green, and yellow. It's designed around this picture of a daisy my mother picked up in the early 70's so I'm fostering this retro-ish feel. There's a shag rug for a bathmat! I'm so pleased. It looked like a hospital before, (white walls, floors, etc).
I've also been taking loads of photos. The one up above (or to the side-ish. I can't remember how I have the layout on this one), is from Historic Roswell, GA. It's a cute part of town if not a bit upper-crust, mostly frequented by stay-at-home moms looking for new trinkets. But this particular building is falling apart. The walls are sagging and bulging slightly. I suspect the huge glass windows in front will crack soon from the uneven strain, but for now, it's perfect. Just perfect.
I want to walk up those stairs, up to the top of the building in the distance. I want to sit between the huge pillars under the archways, swing my feet in space, and look out over the city unhindered. The view will change, the subject won't, but I feel like at least I'd get a new perspective.
There's a storm advancing right now. The thunder rattles the windows in here but it's not quite raining yet. It fits somehow. I just had an embarassingly awkward interaction with a coworker. Maybe the thunder will obliterate the memory. Or, at the very least, the rain will relieve this awful drought.
